As I sit at work with minimal tasks to do certain issues always seem to frequent my mind. And since I am a female who loves Black men a lot of the time it seems to be about them. Or lack of them (lol.)
Now before you think that I am a man hater and out to degrade and dehumanise the male species through my biased female P.O.V. This is an actual genuine attempt to understand them. I can already hear the men exhaling at their desks but bracing themselves for what they are about too read..
I recently read a book entilted, "Act Like a lady think like a Man," by the well known comedian Steve Harvey. Through his book he claims to provide an insight into the male pshcye. And a particular point that stuck out to me was,
"No matter if a man is a CEO, a CON, or both everything he does is filtered trhough his title (who he is) how he gets that title (what he does), and the reward he gets for the effort (how much he makes). These three things make up the basis DNA of manhood- three accomplishments every man must achieve before he feels like he's truly fulfilles his destiny as a man. And until he's achieved his goal in those three areas, the man your're dating, commited to, or married to will be too busy to focus on you."
Wow after reading this I felt like I had been to church. Lol.. I has never heard the word preached so true and in its purest form before as Steve Harvey put it.
All past relationships/near misses of relationships all made sense. The majority of Black men in my age group 20-25 do not seem to have any one of these three things down. However they constantly try to avoid dealing with them by chirpsing every gyal on road and trying to find a wifey. Ladies beware of this.. If a man is still looking for a path, a direction, does not know what he wants to do with his life, or whatever then he has no need for you whatsoever.
As my mind keeps on ticking over with the what if's and maybe's of this new found enlightenment I will be sure to update this blog and share my words and thoughts as a woman..
Rochelle
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I used to think like a man...until I was more inclined to act like a women!
ReplyDelete...Its hard to keep a perspective especially when your on different sides of the fence.
I recommend watching Diary of a tired Black Man.
"If a man is still looking for a path, a direction, does not know what he wants to do with his life, or whatever then he has no need for you whatsoever."
I fully understand where I need to be and where I want to go...but wanting to go with a man by my side...that I'm still deciding, cuz I aint waiting! xXx
the story of our lives.it makes sense..speaking from experience it has been the cause of many a break up.Im thinking now to just be focused on me,i agree with you k* im not about to wait,but if it happens it happens.just coming out of a relationship im able to evaluate what happened.although hes a good man hes gotta sort himself out 1st.
ReplyDeleteshould it be too late if he has nobility his intentions are good and he tried to make amends?? I'd say a strong woman then in my opinion would try to see it through as opposed to embarking on something new as she'd see the value of the guy he may not be perfect nor she but Id put the definition down to a level of characteristics & morals which equate to making a person (man or woman) good.
ReplyDeletei too own this book and it really gave me food for thought. steve harvey certainly knows what he is talking about.
ReplyDeletea woman needs to have a level of standards and stick to them!